A new school year brings a lot of change all at once. New teachers, new classrooms, new routines, new expectations and sometimes new friendships can make the start of school exciting. It can also be stressful.
Transitions are hard, even when they are positive.
For children and teens, returning to school means adjusting from the flexibility of summer to earlier mornings, longer days and more structure. It may take time for everyone to find their rhythm again. During those first few weeks, children may seem more tired, emotional, irritable or overwhelmed than usual.
Sometimes, behavior is communication.
A child may not come home and say, “I’m having a hard time adjusting.” Instead, parents may notice more frustration, trouble sleeping, stomachaches, headaches, meltdowns or resistance to going to school. For older children and teens, it might look like withdrawing, shutting down or becoming more easily frustrated.
Rather than focusing only on stopping the behavior, consider what your child may be trying to communicate through it.
The questions we ask can make a difference, too.
After a long school day, “How was school?” can feel like a big question. And asking question after question as soon as a child gets in the car can sometimes feel more like an interrogation than a conversation.
Try getting more specific. Ask, “What made you laugh today?” “Who did you sit with at lunch?” “What was the easiest part of your day?” or “Was there anything that felt hard today?” These questions can make it easier for children to share what is happening in their world without feeling pressured to give a full report.
It is also normal for some children to experience anxiety as school begins.
A little nervousness about a new teacher, finding a classroom or making friends is expected. Give your child time to adjust and acknowledge what they are feeling without immediately trying to fix it. Simple routines, predictable mornings and opportunities to talk can help create a sense of stability.
If anxiety begins interfering with sleep, school attendance, relationships or everyday activities, it may be time to reach out for additional support.
As the assignments, tests and grades begin, remember to encourage effort, not just achievement.
Children benefit from knowing that their value is not tied to a report card, test score or whether they made the team. Notice when they work through something difficult, ask for help, try again or show courage in a new situation. Those moments help build confidence and resilience far beyond the classroom.
And remember that school stress is not always about schoolwork.
Friendships and peer relationships can be one of the biggest sources of stress for children and teens. Friend groups change. Children may worry about fitting in, feel left out or experience conflict they do not know how to navigate. For a child, what happens at the lunch table or in a group chat can feel just as significant as what happens in the classroom.
Create space for those conversations. Listen before offering solutions and help your child think through what they need rather than immediately stepping in to fix the problem.
Back to school is a transition for the whole family. Give your child, and yourself, some time to adjust. Pay attention to the small changes, keep the conversation open and remember that a difficult day does not mean it will be a difficult year.
Sometimes, children simply need time to find their rhythm. And sometimes, they need a little more support along the way. Either way, being present, curious and consistent can help make the transition a little easier.
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